Thank You For NOT Flying Our Airlines

Some of my friends and I were sitting around enjoying together time and I mentioned I had started this blog in support of customer service personnel world-wide and my frind 'Vette wanted me to make sure I included flight attendants and the hell stupid people put them through. Vette says those same dummies who call into call centers are the same dummies who take flights and become lesions on the backsides of flight attendants.

He went on to share some of the episodes from dummies he and his peers have endured over the years. Let me give you some background on Vette. He's been a flight attendant about seven years. He's normally a great Christian husband but says having to deal w/John and Jane Dumbutt day in and day out would make even Job give up and find a new job.

Vette told us about having to deal w/hollering babies, fighting spouses, freaks trying to have sex in the bathrooms or seats, fat people who refuse to pay for two seats, rude pilots and drunk passengers.

Vette says he can deal w/the hollering babies better than the parents who ignore their children kicking the seats or refusing to remain seated while he's trying to serve meals.

Vette has a question: why do you morons have to run to the plane toilet as soon as takeoff is done? You've been sitting around, waiting to board longer than 2 hours, why don't you be smart and go to the restroom BEFORE boarding? Does your bladder suddenly shrink the moment you are flying higher than 30,000 feet?

And why oh why can't you hear your bad kids hollering at the top of their lungs? Didn't you bring something to occupy them, like children's sleep medicine or Xanax? Not only are you deaf, you must also be blind not to see Jr. kicking the chair in front of him. How would you like it if some bad kid was kicking your chair, or screaming bloody murder on a flight from MN to TX? You wouldn't and you know it!

Another question, if your butt is wider than 80 inches round, why do you think you shouldn't buy two seats? We don't want you sitting on us for four hours. You're nice but we don't want to know you that intimately!!

And you that bought the cheap seats then proceed to ask everyone to move around so you can sit w/your friend, husband, boss etc....sit down and shut up! It won't kill you to be by yourself until the next city. Vette has had to deal w/too many people wanting to change the entire cabin around just so they can sit next to their buddy. You and your buddy should have bought your seats together then arrived together so you wouldn't have to have separate seats.

I personally like flying but I sure miss the days when people who flew dressed better than they do now. It used to be you knew who was riding the Greyhound and who was flying, just by the way they were dressed. When I was a girl people wore suits and ties and were presentable. They didn't wear ratty sweats, flip flops and uncombed hair. Vette says he feels sorry for the passengers who have to endure their seatmates' body odour. He can escape it but pity the unlucky stiff smelling your underarms, stinky feet and foul breath.

So, as a homage to Vette, here's the moral of the story: be nice when flying and take a shower BEFORE sitting down next to me!