Be A Good Customer and Please Leave!

My friend tells me about some great sites that she reads (she needs a life, seriously) and sometimes I like them, most times I don't. She turned me onto this one who also works for the public and was doing a public service announcement to stupid customers everywhere on how and to whom to complain about service.

This guy Meloncutter says he works in produce at a supermarket and he tells the story about a customer who gets so upset about waiting in long lines at the supermarket that she goes upside some dude's head w/a bag of potatoes.

See? This crap is what I'm talking about. You stupid people complain and holler at everybody because your asses are late or tired or having bad days then think you can just treat employees any kind of way because you're the customer and you're always right. No! You don't have that right. You don't have the right to grab us, curse and scream obscenities at us just because you want to buy potatoes.

I hope that store worker files assault charges against that lady's sorry ass. That will teach each of you to watch how you're acting.

In my previous life on the phones I was glad my company didn't force us to listen to you idiots who wanted to spew garbage upon garbage at us. We were given the right to put your sorry, ignorant, in-bred asses on hold and find a supervisor who would hang up on you if you tried that crap with him or her.

I can't count the number of times my supervisor would hang up on you dummies. I remember times when one of you called and wanted to speak to her manager and you refused to hang up until you could speak to that manager. My supervisor would just ask for a number for her boss to call and if you didn't give her one she'd just hang up on you.

I remember another time her boss hung up on you because one of us called you by a Jewish name and you got all upset that you threatened to sue us for slander and making racist statements. Because someone called you by another name? How goofy are you people? No wonder America is losing its lead in the world, it's filled w/so many of the laziest, craziest idiots we can't help but lose our dominance.

I can't tell you the number of times you so-called business people would call and complain and get crazy because your company put limits on the account. So you're mad because your company won't let you buy that $12k bracelet and instead of you calling your company and complaining, you sit on your damed stupid ass and call us screaming 'til you're blue in the face, you putrid slices of rotten meat.

Okay, by now you're probably asking what you can do to help customer service people right? No you're not because you're too stupid to think ahead aren't you? So let me tell you how to help us, you morons.

-cancel your account. If you can't understand that you have to pay for what you've charged, and you can't understand the grace period and you can't understand that you need to put the payment in an envelope with a stamp and mail it in order for us to receive it, if your company has instituted certain policies and you're too chicken to call your company and call and scream at them, cancel your card, PLEASE!

-don't shop in our stores. If you know we'll only have one or two registers working in the middle of the day, forcing you to wait in long lines, and if you know we deliberately understaff the departments forcing you to find someone in Jewelry to help you in the Garden, don't come back to the store.

-don't buy our product. If you know you'll have to deal with Tech Support in India, China or the Phillipines and you hate hearing accents or feel jobs should stay in America, buy someone else. Oh wait, most everyone has outsourced Tech Support so I guess you'll have to deal with the accents or just keep listening to that AM/FM stereo and watching that cheap black and white tv.

-don't come to our restaurants. If you want your waiter to be able to speak perfect English, don't come to our Mexican, Indian, Chinese, Thai, Ethiopian, Korean restaurants. Do us favors and stay at the steakhouses.

Do this for us and we promise not to be upset if we don't see or hear from you ever again. Really.