How Did You Get a License to Drive?

There is absolutely nothing I hate more than you people who don't know how to drive, you that drive like maniacs, you who act as if the road belongs to you and you should have the right of way anytime you're on the road.

Some of you morons get on the road and just drive like you bought the road, had it paved with your money and as an act of courtesy are allowing others to drive on it as long as we realize it's YOUR road and we have to be off of it when it's YOUR turn to drive. You absolutely make me sick!

Tailgaters-Whenever I'm driving the freeway in the right hand lane-the lane designed for slower traffic, you swoop behind me on my tail closer than the thong underwear I have on. Tailgating sir or madam, makes me think I'm supposed to slow down. Maybe you're on my tail so close to warn me of a highway patrol car behind me. Anyway, when you get all up on me, clown, I get off the gas and just start coasting. And if you hit me? I'm falling on the ground, holding my neck and my back and delcaring myself too injured to do anything but call a lawyer.

Errant Lane Changers-Look Bozo, your swerving out from behind then swerving in front of me just to get slowed down doesn't make for a sign of great intelligence does it? It's often humourous to see you keep changing lanes and still end up behind me because each lane you change over to slows down the moment you get in it. You think the rest of the drivers aren't laughing at you too? Dummy.

Slow Pokes in the Left Lane-You're a moron. 'Nuff said.

Drunk Drivers-Not only should you be imprisoned for each point you're over on the alcohol test, you should also never be allowed to drive w/o a alcohol tester on your car, your cell phone and before locking your home door to leave. As a matter of fact you should be forced to blow into a machine three times a day. That should teach you to drink and kill someone. Lowlife, skin rash infected wild dog, toilet scum eating cockroaches(This includes all you crackheads and meth heads who drive will high).

Red-light Runners-The red light means it's your time to stop and allow other drivers to cross the intersection. It does not mean you should gun your engine to barrel through the intersection, forcing everyone else to wait for you. What if your 1st cousin is also coming through the light? Wouldn't it be a shame if you two collided? Well, you know, that might be a good thing! Two less of you on the road-that's sounding pretty good right now.