Beggars Can't Be Choosy

I have a girlfriend named Arnie who works in the call center of a large pharmaceutical company. She wants to share her plight about dealing with applicants for FREE medication and the ignorant pharmacists who try to make her job miserable.

Arnie's tale of woe begins each morning that she logs onto the company phone and begins taking calls from people who are seeking enrollment for free medication from the top pharmaceutical companies. Arnie says everyday she has to listen to people gripe and complain about getting free stuff! First of all, what makes you people so uppity that you think you're entitled to anything free in this life? Second, when asking for free stuff, especially stuff you need dummies, why insist on being rude to the very person(s) who can help you get the free stuff? It's enough you're stupid, you don't have to be rude too do you? To help my friend and all the reps who work with her, I'm including some guidelines you should follow that may actually help you get something free.

1. Be Nice and Courteous. 'Nuff said. I don't believe many of you who are calling are independently wealthy enough to not need free medication. Why then do you speak down to the phone reps when completing applications? You've heard the old adage, "You can catch more flies w/honey" right? Be nice.

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2. Have your information ready when you call. Most of you will have to go through the automated system which gives you enough time to have your social security number, dr's office number, blood type and anything else you'll need. Don't wait to get the rep on the line then have to keep them on hold while you find your purse, look for a pen, call up the dr's office etc. Get all that before you call.

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3. Cursing, screaming, threatening is strictly prohibited. The reps may not be able to hang up on your sorry butt but they sure can deny your request and NOT suggest any other program you may be eligible for. It won't kill you to be professional when you call.

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4. Finally, if the rep does a good job, take a few moments and tell his/her supervisor about the experience. Phone reps have a hard job and when you call and complain about poor service you should also be humble enough to recognize and praise great service.

Now, for you pharmacists who have spent so much time in school earning that degree that you've forgotten that you're human too, and not Superman/woman. If you knew how to run the applications through your network the companies wouldn't need to hire phone reps to help you and the customers. You don't know everything so when you call, acknowledge that you need help is the first step toward recovery and making the call a short and pleasant one.

There you have it. Arnie and all of her pals, keep up the good fight!