Call the Police, You're Being Robbed!

I really think you people who continue to use credit cards and live beyond your means have this thing all wrong. You run up all this credit to keep up with the latest technological toy or 'it' car, 'it' bag, 'it' girlfriend/boyfriend. You run over to the newest Ikea store just so you can toot your horn on Monday morning about your purchaes while leaning against the watercooler, telling everyone within earshot how cool and hip you are. What are you simpletons gonna do when the economy turns bad and you have to eat on that cheap Ikea furniture because you had to return the dining unit that you bought on credit from Ikea?

I've been in credit hell before and it took me four l--o--n--g years to get out of it. And once I got out, I STAYED out! That's why I would be so amazed when I'd talk to customers who were upset we cut off their cards or reduced their spending limits. You should have been thanking us, sending us flowers or displaying some other form of gratitude. Instead you'd call, get me and I'd have the happy job of telling you to drop dead or pay the account balance down.

It never failed, especially on the weekends that I'd have to listen to you moan, wheedle, lie and beg to be able to take your buds out on the town and throw back a few. Sometimes you would have to call in front of your friends and try to play the big man/woman in front of them, but you and I knew what your CBR scores showed and the real reason we stopped you.

Now comes the threats to cancel the accounts, sue, etc. You've got this all wrong buddy. Do you think we would turn off the account if we weren't concerned you could pay us? Do you think we cared that you would leave? You think too much of yourself. Here's some advice for you that I hope you'll take to heart. And hey, at least it's free.

Do you realize that you're just a number to these financial companies? No? Well, let me enlighten you. You are only as valuable as the money banks earn on your account. It doesn't matter how long you've been with them, how many additional cards you have or if you're a legend (in your own mind). If you're not making them any money, they don't need you. Wanna know who's making them money? Thought you would.

You are being robbed by banks if you fall into the following categories: You continually keep a balance on your account, who are charged the highest finance bracket (up to 30%) at some of the banks and you who always pay after the grace period so that you pay finance charges.

If you're the smart scamp that pays your balances in full before the grace period, banks don't need you. They like you but you're not doing them any favours so if you leave it will smart, but it won't sting and it certainly won't make them cry. In fact, they may entice you to leave by selling your name to other banks to solicit you away or by tagging your account so that when you call you're put in an automated system that makes it impossible to reach a human and you have to complete transactions on the website.

So let's get back to you that think banks actually need you-you're right --to a point. If your CBR is less than 600 they need you to pay those atrocious interest rates. They need you to fund their rewards programs. They need you to pay for all those special benefits they give to the accounts who charge more than $100k per year.

So here's where I know you've got this thing twisted. Although the banks need you to do the above, you need them more than they need you. Think about this--where else in this world can people demand to borrow money and be charged crazy interest rates? It's unfathomable when you see account after account paying $500 and upwards a month for finance charges! And don't pay late or you're really gonna get it!

Do you know that if you pay your other cards late and it's found out they'll raise their interest rate on your card? That's right geniuses, you pay your Montgomery Ward's late, it hits your CBR and then your other cards surprise you with a higher rate. And you know what you'll do? Nothing! You'll call and demand a higher credit limit because you've been with them so long, or because you run a lot of money through your account and because you don't realize how much money you're paying to use that card. Amazing!

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The moral of the story? Get out of credit hell and pay as you go. Don't try to keep up with the Joneses and Morales'. It's not worth lying awake at night worrying because you can't pay your bills. And remember, if the banks stop your card, send a thank you card and stop using that card. After all, you got it right.