Please Respect Your Usher

I recently attended the funeral service of my best friend's pastor. The pastor was well known and, more importantly, well loved so we both knew the church would be packed with mourners and well-wishers and the curious.

My friend and I went early to get seats and just as anticipated, the church was quickly filling up. There were several ushers making sure everyone knew their places and not getting more programs than needed.

Sounds all normal and respectful right? Ha! If you've been reading this blog for any amount of time you know I'm about to complain about the treatment customer servicers receive. Even church ushers.

Now, I've never paid too much attention to the plight of ushers. Not because they're not important, I just never thought about them other than passing the offering plates and telling me where to sit or delivering notes to others in the church. At the funeral though, I really saw the hell some of you pissers put them through.

Me and my girl are sitting there and the ushers are going through HELL in the House of the Lord. People were just sitting anywhere they wanted, moving seats around, ignoring the ushers' pleas to take only ONE program and worse of all-taking pictures of the pastor's body.

Why is it so difficult to follow instructions? Why can't you go to a funeral or any event and actually do what you're told? These poor people (the ushers, not you mothball) had to actually ask the elders of the church to ask some people to move so the family would have room to sit as they buried their husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, pastor and friend. Some of these stooges actually became indignant and tried to make a scene but they were finally moved. I personally think they should have allowed all of the other attendees to give one pimp slap to each of those morons for doing this.

Moral of the story: if the usher gives you direction, grow up and follow it. Don't come to church full of hell!